Spinal Cord Injury Journal

Relearning How To Live After Injury

Written by Spinal Cord Team | August 05, 2020

One of the most difficult things to accept was that my life would never be the same again. After I accepted it and made peace with that, the question became "how do I learn to live again?" and I’ve learned there's no good answer for that. Medical professionals will tell you all about the steps towards recovery, the goals to meet, the therapies available but they don’t go home every night and have to live your life- that's on you. For me it was about learning who I was becoming outside of therapy and recovery, what I was passionate about and what I liked doing. Often times we as patients get so caught up in our recoveries and therapies that once we are recovered we don’t know what to do because that was our lives for a long time. For me, it consumed everything. That’s all that my life was for a long time. I had been through all of this therapy and grief counseling and still didn’t know who I was. So I went back to the basics. I made a chart about all the things I thought I wanted to do in life and then broke it down into what was feasible then, what would be feasible in a couple years and goals I wanted for the future.

3 years later, I’m sitting here realizing that what everyone forgot to mention was that this part is completely normal. Life is all about everyone figuring out who they are. We, as TBI survivors hit a couple roadblocks is all, but we’re still here figuring out who we are again. This is difficult partly because you or your loved one is a TBI survivor- but mostly its difficult because you’re human. There is no step by step to rebuilding your life. I think you just have to start.

If I can give you any advice it’s this:

  1. Try not to dwell on what your life used to be like. If there's pieces you miss and want to get back to you make them goals. But understand that it’s okay to live in a completely different way than you did before.
  2. Find Joy- EVERYWHERE. It's so much less stressful on your brain and its so so good for your future. Trust me future you will thank you.
  3. Document your progress - to look back on, on the not so great days. So that you can see how far you’ve come and how well you’re doing now.
  4. Find 5 qualities - write down five qualities about yourself that you love and can remind yourself in those instances where you’ve forgotten who you are.
  5. Fake it until you make it (cliche but true) no one else knows how this is supposed to go- you control what your life becomes and even when you don’t have it, pretend you do anyways and eventually confidence will follow
  6. Accept change - The only constant in life is change. Good, bad and ugly that's the only thing that remains true at the end of the day. Good news- this isn’t a TBI thing- this is a life thing. But embrace the new. Try new things. I’m not saying alter your life completely or uprooting your present life. I am saying start small. Try new foods- you never know your taste buds might have changed. Curl your hair one day to see what it looks like. Watch a documentary about a topic you know nothing about. Go for a walk (and remember directions if you need them too).