---
title: 10 Tips for Caring for a Child When You Have a Spinal Cord Injury
description: Your life as a parent will change, but even a spinal cord injury does not have to undermine your ability to be an effective, loving parent.
image: http://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/img/10_Tips_for_Caring_for_a_Child_When_You_Have_a_Spinal_Cord_Injury.jpg
---
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# 10 Tips for Caring for a Child When You Have a Spinal Cord Injury
Author: [Spinal Cord Team](https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors)
Publish Date: December 07, 2020
[Spinal cord injury survivors ](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/topic/survivor-stories)with children are often more concerned about how their injuries will affect their children than themselves. Your life as a parent will change, but even a catastrophic injury does not have to undermine your ability to be an effective, loving parent.
Don't let stereotypes about people with disabilities frighten you. SCI survivors can and do lead meaningful, active lives from wheelchairs. You don't have to be physically strong to be an incredible parent, and the disability rights movement has revolutionized the way we view disabilities. If anything, your spinal cord injury may open you to new perspectives that will strengthen your skills as a parent.
## **Focus on the Relationship **
The time during which you can physically control your child is short, even for people without spinal cord injuries. Most parents can't carry a child over the age of five, and even strong adults have few options for physically controlling preteens and teenagers. Don't allow your physical disability to convince you that you have lost control, or that you can't do the important work of parenting.
Ultimately, parenting—including discipline—is about a strong relationship. Some things you can do to improve your relationship with your children include:
- Talking about the day's events, making sure to ask your children lots of questions.
- Asking your child his or her opinions on political or moral issues.
- Reading to your child; reading is the single best thing you can do for your child's intellectual development.
- Watching television or playing video games together.
- Planning a family outing or project together.
- **Cooking, painting, or doing other activities you can do from your wheelchair. **
## **Get Help **
If you're not married or your spouse is not an involved parent, you may need outside help for some daily tasks, particularly if you have very young children. A baby-sitter or nanny can provide help anywhere from a few hours per week to full-time. You might also benefit from the use of day care so you can get a break from the demands of parenting.
If finances are a concern, state and federal aid organizations may be able to help. Some [spinal cord injury foundations also offer quality of life grants](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-grants) to fund expenses such as childcare.
## **Talk About Your Injuries **
Parents want to shield their children from the challenges of adult life, so many opt not to discuss their injuries with their children. Don't make this mistake! Even very young children can see that mom or dad is different. By choosing not to talk about your injuries, you stigmatize them and turn them into something shameful. Talk openly and honestly about your injuries, and encourage your child to ask questions.
Don't shy away from discussing important issues such as disability discrimination in an age-appropriate way. A five-year-old can easily understand “Some people are mean to people just because those people are in wheelchairs, but that's unkind and unfair. We treat everyone with kindness in this family.” An adolescent needs a more nuanced discussion.
## **Know How to Discipline Your Child **
You don't need physical control over your child to discipline him or her. Indeed, physical discipline has been proven ineffective time and again, with hundreds of studies pointing to the dangers of spanking. Positive discipline—which includes carefully monitoring your child to prevent bad behavior before it starts, setting your child up for success, and rewarding good behavior—is far more effective. If you're unsure how to discipline your child, consider recruiting the help of a parenting coach or family counselor.
## **Keep Your Child Safe **
If your child is small enough to need constant supervision and you are unable to freely move about in your home, you must develop a plan to keep your child safe. For instance, when your spouse or support person is not around, you might lock all doors except those to the family room to ensure your child does not wander off. Diligent childproofing is important in every family, and offers substantial peace of mind to spinal cord injury survivors who are also parents.
## **Have an Emergency Plan **
It can be painful to think about your limitations, let alone contemplate how they limit your ability to protect your child. Don't let the pain deter you. Identify any clear dangers posed by your injuries. For example, if you cannot drive or cannot answer the phone, you will have few options if your child faces a medical emergency. A medical alert bracelet, easy-access button to call 911, or even a live-in au pair can offer substantial security. Work with your child's other parent or family members to create a detailed emergency plan. Acknowledging your limitations won't worsen them, but it will prevent them from harming your child.
## **Join a Support Group **
Sometimes simply knowing that you are not alone can work wonders for managing the perils and pitfalls of parenting with a disability. Join a local support group for disabled parents. Not interested in meeting in person? Try a message board, which offers support when you need it.
## **Get Psychological Support **
[Seeking psychological support](https://www.spinalcord.com/mental-health-provider-directories) does not mean you're crazy. It means you're a normal person facing extremely unusual and challenging circumstances. Parenting is difficult for everyone; add in a disability and you are facing a massive obstacle. A skilled therapist can help you sort through your feelings, offer you a shoulder to cry on, and offer practical assistance for managing your daily challenges.
If your injuries have caused conflict with your partner or family, family counseling can help. Even if your family is supportive, group therapy can help you identify ways to more effectively work together, manage your injuries, and cope with the challenges of life with a disability. A skilled child therapist is also an excellent resource for explaining your disability to your child.
## **Take a Parenting Class **
Taking a parenting class is not an admission that you don't know how to parent. Indeed, it's a commitment to sharpening your skills, commiserating with other parents, and learning things you never mastered from your own parents. If you struggle with specific parenting issues, a parenting class is a great way to address those issues in a supportive environment. Better still, you don't have to rely on folk wisdom or the misguided advice of friends and family; you'll be using research-supported parenting methods that are proven to work.
## **Find New Ways to Bond**
**Particularly if you had an active, athletic life before your injury, bonding with your child can be challenging at first. Be patient with yourself and your child—and don't discount your little one's input. Your child might have great ideas for spending quality time together. After all, what matters most is that you take the time to invest in your child—not that you do it in any specific way.**
**[](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/575040/7ed4d72e-6e5a-40d1-aada-cecf94b5343e) **
**Topics:** Spinal Cord Injury, Caregivers
### Stay Updated on Advancements On Traumatic Brain & Spinal Cord Injuries
About the Author
#### Spinal Cord Team
The authors of Spinalcord.com are made up of attorneys, those in the medical field, and survivors of spinal cord injuries or traumatic brain injuries. Learn more about our team of authors including a brief biography that explains how they impact the SCI and TBI community.
[Learn More About the Author](https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors)
**Leave a Comment**
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true
### Spinal Cord Injury
- [Types of Spinal Cord Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Secondary Complications](https://www.spinalcord.com/secondary-complications-after-sci-spinal-cord-injury)
- [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/signs-symptoms-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/prognosis-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer)
### Brain Injury
- [Types of Brain Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-traumatic-brain-injury)
- [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/causes-of-traumatic-and-acquired-brain-injuries)
- [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/traumatic-brain-injury-tbi-symptoms)
- [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-prognosis-for-tbi-abi)
- [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer)
### Finding Treatment
- [Physician Directory](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-and-spinal-cord-injury-physician-directory)
- [Rehabilitation Directory](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-hospitals-rehabilitation-directory)
- [Technology Advancements](https://www.spinalcord.com/sci-technology-advancements)
- [Prevention](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-prevention)
### Legal Options
- [Spinal Cord Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-lawyer)
- [Brain Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-lawyer)
- [Types of Personal Injury Claims](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-personal-injury-claims)
- [Where To Start](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-spinal-cord-injury-lawyer-where-to-start)
- [Local Assistance](https://www.spinalcord.com/florida-personal-injury-claims)
#### [About Us](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us)
Spinal cord injuries are traumatic for patients and their families. They cause disruptive changes to every aspect of your life and there is a lot of new information to navigate and understand. Our experts have collected everything in one place to help you learn more about your injury, locate doctors and treatment centers, find financial support, and get assistance navigating your next move.
[Learn More About SpinalCord.com →](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us)
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"articleBody" : "The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.\n\nWhat Is a Spinal Contusion?
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\nMuch like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather unlike bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks.
\nFor example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities.
\nA contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of physical symptoms such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way.
\nWarning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For
\nFirstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” according to Dr. Wong, an orthopedic physician.
\nSymptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” (American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016). Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma:
\n\n- Spinal shock — or the "loss of feeling or movement below site of injury" (Columbia University Medical Centre, 2016) that can last between hours and weeks
\n- Loss of bladder or bowel function
\n- Difficulty breathing
\n- Muscle spasticity
\n- Difficulty understanding speech
\n- Problems with attention
\n- Memory challenges
\n- Heart rate and blood pressure problems
\n
\nUnfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI.
\nUnderstanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment.
\nIf you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our guide to understanding a spinal cord injury.",
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"description":"The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.
What Is a Spinal Contusion?
Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image
Much like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather unlike bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks.
For example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities.
A contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of physical symptoms such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way.
Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For
Firstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” according to Dr. Wong, an orthopedic physician.
Symptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” (American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016). Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma:
Spinal shock — or the loss of feeling or movement below site of injury (Columbia University Medical Centre, 2016) that can last between hours and weeks
Loss of bladder or bowel function
Difficulty breathing
Muscle spasticity
Difficulty understanding speech
Problems with attention
Memory challenges
Heart rate and blood pressure problems
Unfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI.
Understanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment.
If you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our guide to understanding a spinal cord injury.",
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"description":"The authors at SpinalCord.com come from diverse backgrounds including doctors, attorneys, medical journalist, and survivors of spinal cord injuries or traumatic brain injuries. Each author brings with them different experiences and expertise which when combined provide clinically accurate information which is useful to all individuals in the spinal cord and traumatic brain injury communities. Within the content you will find citations to medical journals, scientific research, as well as national and local resources to provide immediate support to families in need of assistance. Content is reviewed and updated regularly with changes in the clinical guidelines, new resources, and fresh ways to understand the content such as videos and infographics. ."
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