--- title: 8 Tips for Talking to Your Friend with a Spinal Cord Injury description: Seeing a friend go through a spinal cord injury is never easy. It's important to be there to support, encourage, and love them during their recovery. image: https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Blog-Images/friends-gathered-around-table-wheelchair-support-min.jpg --- [![spinalcord logo desktop](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png) ![spinalcord logo mobile](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord-white_png.png) ](https://www.spinalcord.com/) MENU ** ![spinal cord logo slide out mobile](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png) ** [![Dale Swope](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/dale-img-min.jpg?width=100&name=dale-img-min.jpg) The Purpose Behind Spinalcord.com ** Play Dale Swope's Story ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1kPXDw_CQU) [For Advice Call: (877) 336-7192 ](tel:8773367192) ![Spinalcord Logo](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord-logo-icon-svg.svg) - [About](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us) - [About Us](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us) - [Our Team](https://www.spinalcord.com/our-team) - 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You want to help, but you just don't know what to say. ![friends-gathered-around-table-wheelchair-support](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/friends-gathered-around-table-wheelchair-support-min.jpg?width=300&name=friends-gathered-around-table-wheelchair-support-min.jpg) Know this: you're not alone. Many people find themselves in this type of "I don't know what to do” situation when a friend has a spinal cord injury. Very rarely is someone prepared to handle such a challenge, and you may be surprised when to find yourself experiencing your own grieving process for your injured friend. On the rare occasion, you may already know someone personally who has an SCI, and no one expects you to handle this like a pro. But there are things you can do to teach yourself how to handle this situation. Read on for advice on how to talk to a friend with a new spinal cord injury. Remember: You can still be close friends, things will just be a little different. ## **1: Specifically Ask What Your Friend Needs Help With** There are a lot of ways you can help, and sometimes being specific with your help is the best method. For example instead of asking your friend, "Do you want me to bring dinner tonight?" they may answer no. You should instead try asking, "I'm stopping at Papa John's on my way to see you. What should I pick up for you?" Being specific about the ways you will help can really help your friend. ## **2: Be Encouraging Without Being Condescending** It's normal to feel the urge to say, "Wow you're looking good," or even saying something like "good for you" when you see your friend. However, try hard to refrain from saying these so-called “encouraging” statements that may come across as trite, or even condescending. Saying truthful, sincere statements of positivity. ## **3: Avoid Saying ‘Everything Happens for a Reason’ ** For some reason, this statement has become a popular phrase in the Western world. However, many people who have lived through a traumatic event do not necessarily hold the same sentiment. In order to not upset your friend, it’s best to avoid saying this statement. Instead, try to be understanding and say “I am so sorry. I love you.” ## **4: Don't Compare Your Friend to Another Person’s Situation** Maybe you’ve known someone who’s had a spinal cord injury and is now walking around just fine. Do not bring this person up to your friend or compare their situation to your friend’s situation, even if you think it’s a hopeful story. Every SCI is different since the nerves are damaged differently in every injury. Instead, be their cheerleader without comparisons. ## **5: Actively Listen** Many people are terrible listeners, and instead are simply waiting for their opportunity to interrupt. Try to actively listen to your injured friend without the inclination to interrupt and add your two cents. Being someone for your friend to just vent to — and simply listening to what your friend has to say — can be invaluable to the healing process and their overall sci recovery. ## **6: Use Humor** It's always good to infuse appropriate humor into serious health situations like a spinal cord injury. Truly. When Christopher Reeve was injured, he was notoriously visited by his best friend Robin Williams, who dressed up as a nurse and visited his bedside. Think about what makes your friend laugh and do it. It can be more healing than any card or balloon. ## **7: Talk about More Than Just the Injury** When you visit your friend, try to talk about other engaging topics outside of the injury, rehab and therapy talk. There's a lot happening in the world and it will be good for your friend to get their mind off themselves and onto other topics for even a brief amount of time. Pop news, politics, quantum physics, a new recipe… you get the idea. ## **8: Remember to Check In Often** As the months and years go by after your friend’s injury, don’t forget to check in on them. It can be difficult to transition back to a normal life after a spinal cord injury, and many people struggle during the first couple of years. Many friends allow their friendships to fall to the wayside because their friend has changed so much. Please, do not allow this to happen between you and your friend. >Remember, life is never easy, and a spinal cord injury simply reminds us of that. Be there for your injured friend just as they likely would be there for you, and you will be rewarded with one of life’s greatest friendships. SCI survivor Mason Ellis has [10 additional tips](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/10-ways-you-can-help-someone-with-a-spinal-cord-injury) for you to try helping your friend. *Quick Question: Are you injured? What did your friends say that helped? Please leave a comment below!* *[![New Call-to-action](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/575040/d59d2232-0b56-4b13-a195-eab292389dfa.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/575040/d59d2232-0b56-4b13-a195-eab292389dfa)* **Topics:** Spinal Cord Injury ### Stay Updated on Advancements On Traumatic Brain & Spinal Cord Injuries About the Author #### Spinal Cord Team The authors of Spinalcord.com are made up of attorneys, those in the medical field, and survivors of spinal cord injuries or traumatic brain injuries. Learn more about our team of authors including a brief biography that explains how they impact the SCI and TBI community. [Learn More About the Author](https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors) **Leave a Comment** [![New Call-to-action](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/575040/dc8bc979-ba55-463a-9400-f92cbdebcb1a.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/575040/dc8bc979-ba55-463a-9400-f92cbdebcb1a) true ### Spinal Cord Injury - [Types of Spinal Cord Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Secondary Complications](https://www.spinalcord.com/secondary-complications-after-sci-spinal-cord-injury) - [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/signs-symptoms-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/prognosis-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer) ### Brain Injury - [Types of Brain Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-traumatic-brain-injury) - [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/causes-of-traumatic-and-acquired-brain-injuries) - [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/traumatic-brain-injury-tbi-symptoms) - [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-prognosis-for-tbi-abi) - [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer) ### Finding Treatment - [Physician Directory](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-and-spinal-cord-injury-physician-directory) - [Rehabilitation Directory](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-hospitals-rehabilitation-directory) - [Technology Advancements](https://www.spinalcord.com/sci-technology-advancements) - [Prevention](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-prevention) ### Legal Options - [Spinal Cord Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-lawyer) - [Brain Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-lawyer) - [Types of Personal Injury Claims](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-personal-injury-claims) - [Where To Start](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-spinal-cord-injury-lawyer-where-to-start) - [Local Assistance](https://www.spinalcord.com/florida-personal-injury-claims) #### [About Us](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us) Spinal cord injuries are traumatic for patients and their families. They cause disruptive changes to every aspect of your life and there is a lot of new information to navigate and understand. Our experts have collected everything in one place to help you learn more about your injury, locate doctors and treatment centers, find financial support, and get assistance navigating your next move. [Learn More About SpinalCord.com →](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us) ## [Contact Us](https://www.spinalcord.com/contact-us) ![logo-footer-spinal-cord.png](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/img/logo-footer-spinal-cord.png?width=249&name=logo-footer-spinal-cord.png "logo-footer-spinal-cord.png") **  [877-336-7192](tel:8773367192) ** [support@spinalcord.com](mailto:support@spinalcord.com) [**](https://www.facebook.com/spinalcordcom) [**](https://www.linkedin.com/company/spinalcord-com/) [**](https://twitter.com/SpinalCordCom) [**](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAbz2AC18acXQkpMNPeDIqg) Copyright 2026 | All Rights Reserved. [Spinal Cord, Inc.](https://www.spinalcord.com) Sponsored by [Tampa personal injury lawyers](https://www.swoperodante.com/tampa-personal-injury-lawyer/) at Swope, Rodante P.A. a Florida law firm located at 1234 E 5th Ave, Tampa, FL 33605. The information provided by SpinalCord.com is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, see [ Disclaimer Policy.](https://www.spinalcord.com/disclaimer) [**](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/how-to-talk-to-your-friend-who-was-recently-injured-with-a-sci#) [**](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/how-to-talk-to-your-friend-who-was-recently-injured-with-a-sci#) ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "WebSite", "name" : "Spinal Cord, Inc.", "potentialAction" : { "@type" : "SearchAction", "query-input" : "required name=search_query", "target" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/search?q={search_query}" }, "url" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/" } ``` ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "Organization", "contactPoint" : [ { "@type" : "ContactPoint", "contactType" : "customer service", "telephone" : "+1-877-336-7192" } ], "legalName" : "Spinal Cord, Inc.", "logo" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "sameAs" : [ "https://www.facebook.com/spinalcordcom", "https://twitter.com/SpinalCordCom", "https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAbz2AC18acXQkpMNPeDIqg", "http://www.linkedin.com/company/spinalcord-com" ], "url" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/" } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "Article", "articleBody" : "The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.

\n\n

What Is a Spinal Contusion?

\n\"Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image\"\n

Much like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather unlike bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks.

\n

For example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities.

\n

A contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of physical symptoms such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way.

\n

Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For

\n

Firstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” according to Dr. Wong, an orthopedic physician.

\n

Symptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” (American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016). Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma:

\n\n

Unfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI.

\n

Understanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment.

\n

If you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our guide to understanding a spinal cord injury.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Spinalcord.com Team" }, "datePublished" : "2020-12-03", "image" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion", "name" : "Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion", "url" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion" } ``` ```json { "@context":"https://schema.org", "@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite", "@id":"https://spinalcord.com/#website", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion", "name":"Spinal Cord Inc", "description":"The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. 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Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.", "inLanguage":"en-US"}, { "@type":"ImageObject", "@id":"Spinalcord Logo", "inLanguage":"en-US", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "width":327,"height":300, "caption":"spinal contusion"}, { "@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#webpage", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion", "name":"Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion", "isPartOf":{"@id":"https://spinalcord.com/#website"}, "primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#primaryimage"}, "datePublished":"2020-12-03T18:30:35+00:00","dateModified":"2020-12-03T18:30:35+00:00", "author":{"@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors"}, "description":"The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals. What Is a Spinal Contusion? Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image Much like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather unlike bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks. For example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities. A contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of physical symptoms such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way. Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For Firstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” according to Dr. Wong, an orthopedic physician. Symptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” (American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016). Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma: Spinal shock — or the loss of feeling or movement below site of injury (Columbia University Medical Centre, 2016) that can last between hours and weeks Loss of bladder or bowel function Difficulty breathing Muscle spasticity Difficulty understanding speech Problems with attention Memory challenges Heart rate and blood pressure problems Unfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI. Understanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment. If you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our guide to understanding a spinal cord injury.", "breadcrumb":{"@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#breadcrumb"}, "inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion"]}]}, { "@type":"BreadcrumbList", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem", "position":1, "item": { "@type":"WebPage", "@id":"https://spinalcord.com/", "url":"https://spinalcord.com/", "name":"Home"}}, {"@type":"ListItem", "position":2, "item":{"@type":"WebPage", "@id":"https://spinalcord.com/blog/", "url":"https://spinalcord.com/blog/", "name":"Articles"}}, {"@type":"ListItem", "position":3, "item":{"@type":"WebPage", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/", "name":"Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion"}}]}, {"@type":"Person", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors", "name":"Spinalcord Team", "image":{"@type":"ImageObject", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "inLanguage":"en-US", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "caption":"Spinalcord Team"}, "description":"The authors at SpinalCord.com come from diverse backgrounds including doctors, attorneys, medical journalist, and survivors of spinal cord injuries or traumatic brain injuries. Each author brings with them different experiences and expertise which when combined provide clinically accurate information which is useful to all individuals in the spinal cord and traumatic brain injury communities. Within the content you will find citations to medical journals, scientific research, as well as national and local resources to provide immediate support to families in need of assistance. Content is reviewed and updated regularly with changes in the clinical guidelines, new resources, and fresh ways to understand the content such as videos and infographics. ." } ]} ```