---
title: Sex, SCI and Why It's Still Important
description: Maintaining a sexual relationship after a spinal cord injury requires a few changes but is very important and can still be fulfilling for both partners.
image: https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Blog%20Images/AdobeStock_141318536-1.jpeg
---

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# Sex, SCI and Why It's Still Important

 Author: [Spinal Cord Team](https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors)

 Publish Date: December 08, 2020

![It's important to maintain a sexual relationship after a SCI.](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog%20Images/AdobeStock_141318536-1.jpeg?width=724&name=AdobeStock_141318536-1.jpeg "It's important to maintain a sexual relationship after a SCI.")It’s true. Sex is a whole lot different after a spinal cord injury (SCI). Some get so upset they stop having sex altogether, BUT the vast majority opt not to close the door on their sexuality after their injuries. It’s too vital of an aspect of being human. Sex is so much more than nerve endings; it's about intimacy, closeness and realness.

We want to challenge any pre-conceived notions you may have had about sex and SCI. Sex *can* be fulfilling post-injury, and it is possible to feel sexy again. Everything is just going to be a lot different. Here are tips direct from [real-life SCI survivors](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-community).

## **The Physical Changes**

For women, their sensation and ability to lubricate changes the most. For the men, they have to deal with a bit more: Erection issues, ejaculation issues (many cannot ejaculate) and a lack of sensation. Viagra, Cialis and Levitra help many paras and quads achieve an erection, but not all. For those who are not helped by these drugs, a penis pump is a common alternative.

## **Banish the ‘One-Sided’ Pleasure Fear**

Despite what some AB partners or even you, the newly-injured person, may think, it’s not one-sided when it comes to pleasure after SCI. Many SCI folks quickly discover there’s still a lot of enjoyment to be had in the sex department. They find new ways to make things fun and exciting, they become better at different things in bed and many couples (especially while in rehab) utilize sex therapists if they are available.

Also, stick with what you liked before because you are still going to respond to the same things. Make sure you have enough foreplay too to enhance the sensations of the SCI partner. Orgasms become much more psychological post-injury as well, but if you communicate about what feels good and discover where your new erogenous zones are (scars, the face, neck, the line on body where injury stops/begins) physical orgasms from new areas can be achieved.

Also, try experimenting with good and bad touch and try to touch using different body parts (like the tongue or toes) to touch your partner. And sex in the shower can especially feel good because of the enhanced temps and sensation variations.

## **Feel Sexy Again**

The best way to feel sexy again is to relearn how to love yourself. You need to use positive psychology and focus on your positive attributes. Focus on what you still love about yourself, and you will slowly begin to feel sexy again.  

Also, if you're comfortable with yourself and your disability, this is sexy. Humor and confidence are also helpful in learning how to feel sexy again. Don't be afraid to goof around with people sitting on your lap as well (this is always a good conversation opener).

## **Communication is Everything**

To achieve great sex after a spinal cord injury, you will absolutely need a high level of communication with your partner to get there. Try to communicate both your needs and wants to your partner, especially if you are the paralyzed counterpart. It’s up to you to let your partner know what you like, so experimentation is key.

## **Trial & Error: Everyone is Doing It**

If you were a couple before the injury, continue hugging and touching like before. It can be easy to put sex and intimacy on the sidelines when an injury occurs, but this can be problematic long-term. If you have a partner and your injury is new, don't worry about having sex right away, but remember that trial and error will be the most important thing will you do when you decide to start having sex again.

## **Find an Open-Minded Partner**

Finding a person who sees past your wheelchair and sees you for your soul is what you now need, but finding these individuals can be tricky. To find awesome people who see past the wheelchair, try to combat shyness and try to be the person who approaches people first. While people may find you attractive, your disability might make them unsure of what to do so making the first move is a good rule of thumb. Also, while struggling to find a good partner may be hard, it does help weed out the close-minded people of the world.

## **Positioning**

When you’re paralyzed, finding the right position is key when having sex. It can hurt the self-esteem when you can't do certain positions anymore. Try experimenting with different pillows, propping up in bed or even staying in your wheelchair while having sex to stabilize your balance.

Sex is different for everyone, and we know the loss you’re feeling can be profound. Just remember, while your injury has taken a lot of from you, you can limit how much it affects your sex life with a positive attitude and a hopeful outlook, and that is a truly amazing thing.

*How have you rediscovered sex post-injury?*

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**Topics:** Family & Relationships

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 The authors of Spinalcord.com are made up of attorneys, those in the medical field, and survivors of spinal cord injuries or traumatic brain injuries. Learn more about our team of authors including a brief biography that explains how they impact the SCI and TBI community. 

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### Spinal Cord Injury

- [Types of Spinal Cord Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Secondary Complications](https://www.spinalcord.com/secondary-complications-after-sci-spinal-cord-injury)
- [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/signs-symptoms-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/prognosis-of-spinal-cord-injuries)
- [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer)

### Brain Injury

- [Types of Brain Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-traumatic-brain-injury)
- [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/causes-of-traumatic-and-acquired-brain-injuries)
- [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/traumatic-brain-injury-tbi-symptoms)
- [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-prognosis-for-tbi-abi)
- [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer)

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- [Technology Advancements](https://www.spinalcord.com/sci-technology-advancements)
- [Prevention](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-prevention)

### Legal Options

- [Spinal Cord Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-lawyer)
- [Brain Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-lawyer)
- [Types of Personal Injury Claims](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-personal-injury-claims)
- [Where To Start](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-spinal-cord-injury-lawyer-where-to-start)
- [Local Assistance](https://www.spinalcord.com/florida-personal-injury-claims)

#### [About Us](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us)

Spinal cord injuries are traumatic for patients and their families. They cause disruptive changes to every aspect of your life and there is a lot of new information to navigate and understand. Our experts have collected everything in one place to help you learn more about your injury, locate doctors and treatment centers, find financial support, and get assistance navigating your next move.

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```json
{
  "@context" : "http://schema.org",
  "@type" : "Article",
  "articleBody" : "The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic <A href=\"/spinal-cord-injury\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><SPAN style=\"font-weight: 400;\">spinal cord injury</SPAN></A>, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as <A href=\"//www.spinalcord.com/blog/contusion-vs.-concussion-understanding-the-difference\">a contusion.</A> Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.</P>\n\n<H2><STRONG>What Is a Spinal Contusion?</STRONG></H2>\n<IMG src=\"https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg?width=300&amp;name=Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg\" alt=\"Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image\" width=\"300\" style=\"width: 300px; float: right; margin: 0px 0px 10px 10px;\" srcset=\"https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg?width=150&amp;name=Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg 150w, https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg?width=300&amp;name=Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg 300w, https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg?width=450&amp;name=Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg 450w, https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg?width=600&amp;name=Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg 600w, https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg?width=750&amp;name=Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg 750w, https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Blog-Images/Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg?width=900&amp;name=Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image-min.jpg 900w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\"/>\n<P>Much like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather<I><SPAN style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> unlike</SPAN></I> bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the<A href=\"/blog/contusion-vs.-concussion-understanding-the-difference\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"> “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”</A>a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks.</P>\n<P>For example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities.</P>\n<P>A contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of <A href=\"http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/healthlibrary/conditions/nervous_system_disorders/spinal_cord_compression_134,13/\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">physical symptoms</A> such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way.</P>\n<H2><STRONG>Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For</STRONG></H2>\n<P>Firstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” <A href=\"http://www.healio.com/orthopedics/journals/ortho/2012-1-35-1/%7B7b1ed5f6-d6ca-435e-b69a-dba8a6d7c3c0%7D/spinal-cord-contusions\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">according to Dr. Wong</A>, an orthopedic physician.</P>\n<P>Symptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” <A href=\"http://www.aans.org/patient%20information/conditions%20and%20treatments/spinal%20cord%20injury.aspx\">(American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016)</A>. Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma:</P>\n<UL>\n<LI>Spinal shock — or the &quot;loss of feeling or movement below site of injury&quot; <A href=\"http://www.columbianeurosurgery.org/conditions/spinal-trauma/\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\"><I>(Columbia University Medical Centre, 2016) </I></A>that can last between hours and weeks</LI>\n<LI>Loss of bladder or bowel function</LI>\n<LI>Difficulty breathing</LI>\n<LI>Muscle spasticity</LI>\n<LI>Difficulty understanding speech</LI>\n<LI>Problems with attention</LI>\n<LI>Memory challenges</LI>\n<LI>Heart rate and blood pressure problems</LI>\n</UL>\n<P>Unfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI.</P>\n<P>Understanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment.</P>\n<P>If you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our <A href=\"/the-simplified-guide-to-understanding-a-spinal-cord-injury\" rel=\"noopener\" target=\"_blank\">guide to understanding a spinal cord injury</A>.",
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"description":"The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.

What Is a Spinal Contusion?
Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image
Much like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather unlike bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks.

For example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities.

A contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of physical symptoms such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way.

Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For
Firstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” according to Dr. Wong, an orthopedic physician.

Symptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” (American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016). Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma:

Spinal shock — or the loss of feeling or movement below site of injury (Columbia University Medical Centre, 2016) that can last between hours and weeks
Loss of bladder or bowel function
Difficulty breathing
Muscle spasticity
Difficulty understanding speech
Problems with attention
Memory challenges
Heart rate and blood pressure problems
Unfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI.

Understanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment.

If you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our guide to understanding a spinal cord injury.",
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