--- title: The Cost of Apathy and Inaction description: An advice column Dear Abby published the letter of a 57-year-old man who sustained a spinal cord injury when he was a child and his parents neglecting it. image: https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/A%20kid%20writing%20a%20letter.jpg --- [![spinalcord logo desktop](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png) ![spinalcord logo mobile](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord-white_png.png) ](https://www.spinalcord.com/) MENU ** ![spinal cord logo slide out mobile](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png) ** [![Dale Swope](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/dale-img-min.jpg?width=100&name=dale-img-min.jpg) The Purpose Behind Spinalcord.com ** Play Dale Swope's Story ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C1kPXDw_CQU) [For Advice Call: (877) 336-7192 ](tel:8773367192) ![Spinalcord Logo](https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord-logo-icon-svg.svg) - [About](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us) - 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[Community](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-community) - [Trusted Organizations](https://www.spinalcord.com/trusted-by-the-spinal-cord-injury-community) - [Events Calendar](https://www.spinalcord.com/events) - [Podcast](https://www.spinalcord.com/sci-life-uncovered/episode-1) - Recognition - [Best of Awards](https://www.spinalcord.com/best-of-awards) - [Trusted By Designation](https://www.spinalcord.com/trusted-by-the-spinal-cord-injury-community) - [** ](tel:8773367192) - [** ](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/the-cost-of-apathy-and-inaction#) - [** **(877) 336-7192** ](tel:8773367192) - [** **Contact Us** ](https://www.spinalcord.com/contact-us) # The Cost of Apathy and Inaction Author: [Spinal Cord Team](https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors) Publish Date: January 22, 2020 ![child in a wheelchair due to spinal cord injury](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/child%20in%20a%20wheelchair%20due%20to%20spinal%20cord%20injury.jpg?width=726&name=child%20in%20a%20wheelchair%20due%20to%20spinal%20cord%20injury.jpg) On January 16th, 2020 the advice column [Dear Abby published the letter of a 57-year-old man](https://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/2020/1/16/man-disabled-as-a-teen-is) who sustained a [spinal cord injury](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury) when he was a child. He is still suffering from pain and is in a difficult financial position due to the injury. The writer sought advice about whether to ask his parents why they chose not to pursue a legal claim against the at-fault party and disclosed that he is consumed by the anger he feels toward is parents based on their failure to advocate for him and his future needs.  This letter struck a chord with me, for a couple of reasons, and I think it will resonate with some of you as well. It demonstrates the lasting impact a spinal cord injury has on someone even after what may be considered a good recovery. Forty years later this man suffers from weakness and severe pain, so much so that he could no longer work and is now dependent on disability income. When most people get hurt, they recover in a few days or weeks, at worst they might have a scar or a bruise. Some may have lasting discomfort when they move a certain way, or the weather changes. In rare cases an injury will be catastrophic, in these instances (particularly when the injury is unseen) the individual may suffer silently with little emotional support and no financial support. People unfamiliar with the individual’s injury may think they are acting dramatic, lazy, or worse but the reality is they were likely in the wrong place at the wrong time and are now struggling because of it.  ![supportive family member](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/supportive%20family%20member.jpg?width=726&name=supportive%20family%20member.jpg) When I read this particular column, I also couldn’t help but think of all the conversations I have had with individuals and families who want to investigate their options for a [spinal cord injury lawsuit](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/process-spinal-cord-injury-lawsuit) but one reason or another waited too long. Those conversations and outcomes are difficult for the person who is injured (and their family) because they are often left without closure and simply wonder “what if?”. When an accident resulting in catastrophic injury occurs and there simply isn’t anyone to recover from it can be sad, but it does provide a closure which often allows everyone to move forward. When someone is left wondering how their quality of life could have been improved if they had additional resources for therapy, accessible housing, non-familial caretakers, and more their emotional and mental health may suffer more than if they were simply told there was no one else at fault.  ### What Happens Now? In this instance, Abby’s advice to the writer suggesting he speak with his parents about their decision may help provide some closure. There seem to be a couple of possible outcomes the first would seem to be the best. It’s possible the man who was injured as a child misremembers the accident and there was no one else at fault, or there was no way to collect financially. This may alleviate his anger and provide him that much-needed closure.  The other possibility is that his parents simply are not litigious or were afraid of backlash from the community for filing a suit against the school, it was the school that was responsible for his spinal cord injury. It is common for both the person injured and family members to hear the doctor tell them how an injury will impact them for the rest of their life, but either not fully understand those impacts or believe they will make a miraculous recovery. Whether his parents didn’t understand or didn’t want to believe their son would be impacted as much as he has been, they may have taken away from him the opportunity to face his injury with additional resources and a higher quality of life. Unfortunately, he is now reliving this lost opportunity every time he speaks with and thinks about his parents.  When I finished reading the column, I was left wondering how the conversation between this man and his parents concluded. Did any of their answers give him closure or temper his anger? Unfortunately, I’ll never know how this story ends, but that is OK because sharing his story can help others which is the most important thing we can do.  ![Child with spinal cord injury](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/Child%20with%20spinal%20cord%20injury.jpg?width=726&name=Child%20with%20spinal%20cord%20injury.jpg) ### Why am I Sharing This Story? Our [community](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-community) here at SpinalCord.com is full of parents, children, spouses, and friends all of whom are doing the best they can to help someone they love. Just as no one expects to be injured, and no one expects to be helping their loved one through a catastrophic injury. So from time to time, we hear from people who look back and wish they did things differently, unfortunately, we can only help them move forward. But by looking at how a decision like this has impacted someone’s life and relationship with their parents for forty years valuable insight may be gained when considering the decisions being made today.  **Topics:** Spinal Cord Injury, Child Neglect, Dear Abby, childhelp ### Stay Updated on Advancements On Traumatic Brain & Spinal Cord Injuries About the Author #### Spinal Cord Team The authors of Spinalcord.com are made up of attorneys, those in the medical field, and survivors of spinal cord injuries or traumatic brain injuries. Learn more about our team of authors including a brief biography that explains how they impact the SCI and TBI community. [Learn More About the Author](https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors) **Leave a Comment** [![New Call-to-action](https://no-cache.hubspot.com/cta/default/575040/dc8bc979-ba55-463a-9400-f92cbdebcb1a.png)](https://cta-redirect.hubspot.com/cta/redirect/575040/dc8bc979-ba55-463a-9400-f92cbdebcb1a) true ### Spinal Cord Injury - [Types of Spinal Cord Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Secondary Complications](https://www.spinalcord.com/secondary-complications-after-sci-spinal-cord-injury) - [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/signs-symptoms-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/prognosis-of-spinal-cord-injuries) - [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer) ### Brain Injury - [Types of Brain Injuries](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-traumatic-brain-injury) - [Causes](https://www.spinalcord.com/causes-of-traumatic-and-acquired-brain-injuries) - [Symptoms](https://www.spinalcord.com/traumatic-brain-injury-tbi-symptoms) - [Prognosis](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-prognosis-for-tbi-abi) - [Legal Help](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-legal-help-get-a-lawyer) ### Finding Treatment - [Physician Directory](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-and-spinal-cord-injury-physician-directory) - [Rehabilitation Directory](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-hospitals-rehabilitation-directory) - [Technology Advancements](https://www.spinalcord.com/sci-technology-advancements) - [Prevention](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-prevention) ### Legal Options - [Spinal Cord Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/spinal-cord-injury-lawyer) - [Brain Injury Lawyer](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-injury-lawyer) - [Types of Personal Injury Claims](https://www.spinalcord.com/types-of-personal-injury-claims) - [Where To Start](https://www.spinalcord.com/brain-spinal-cord-injury-lawyer-where-to-start) - [Local Assistance](https://www.spinalcord.com/florida-personal-injury-claims) #### [About Us](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us) Spinal cord injuries are traumatic for patients and their families. They cause disruptive changes to every aspect of your life and there is a lot of new information to navigate and understand. Our experts have collected everything in one place to help you learn more about your injury, locate doctors and treatment centers, find financial support, and get assistance navigating your next move. [Learn More About SpinalCord.com →](https://www.spinalcord.com/about-us) ## [Contact Us](https://www.spinalcord.com/contact-us) ![logo-footer-spinal-cord.png](https://www.spinalcord.com/hs-fs/hubfs/img/logo-footer-spinal-cord.png?width=249&name=logo-footer-spinal-cord.png "logo-footer-spinal-cord.png") **  [877-336-7192](tel:8773367192) ** [support@spinalcord.com](mailto:support@spinalcord.com) [**](https://www.facebook.com/spinalcordcom) [**](https://www.linkedin.com/company/spinalcord-com/) [**](https://twitter.com/SpinalCordCom) [**](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAbz2AC18acXQkpMNPeDIqg) Copyright 2026 | All Rights Reserved. [Spinal Cord, Inc.](https://www.spinalcord.com) Sponsored by [Tampa personal injury lawyers](https://www.swoperodante.com/tampa-personal-injury-lawyer/) at Swope, Rodante P.A. a Florida law firm located at 1234 E 5th Ave, Tampa, FL 33605. The information provided by SpinalCord.com is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment, see [ Disclaimer Policy.](https://www.spinalcord.com/disclaimer) [**](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/the-cost-of-apathy-and-inaction#) [**](https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/the-cost-of-apathy-and-inaction#) ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "WebSite", "name" : "Spinal Cord, Inc.", "potentialAction" : { "@type" : "SearchAction", "query-input" : "required name=search_query", "target" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/search?q={search_query}" }, "url" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/" } ``` ```json { "@context" : "https://schema.org", "@type" : "Organization", "contactPoint" : [ { "@type" : "ContactPoint", "contactType" : "customer service", "telephone" : "+1-877-336-7192" } ], "legalName" : "Spinal Cord, Inc.", "logo" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "sameAs" : [ "https://www.facebook.com/spinalcordcom", "https://twitter.com/SpinalCordCom", "https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAbz2AC18acXQkpMNPeDIqg", "http://www.linkedin.com/company/spinalcord-com" ], "url" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/" } ``` ```json { "@context" : "http://schema.org", "@type" : "Article", "articleBody" : "The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.

\n\n

What Is a Spinal Contusion?

\n\"Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image\"\n

Much like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather unlike bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks.

\n

For example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities.

\n

A contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of physical symptoms such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way.

\n

Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For

\n

Firstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” according to Dr. Wong, an orthopedic physician.

\n

Symptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” (American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016). Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma:

\n\n

Unfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI.

\n

Understanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment.

\n

If you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our guide to understanding a spinal cord injury.", "author" : { "@type" : "Person", "name" : "Spinalcord.com Team" }, "datePublished" : "2020-12-03", "image" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion", "name" : "Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion", "url" : "https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion" } ``` ```json { "@context":"https://schema.org", "@graph":[{"@type":"WebSite", "@id":"https://spinalcord.com/#website", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion", "name":"Spinal Cord Inc", "description":"The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals.", "inLanguage":"en-US"}, { "@type":"ImageObject", "@id":"Spinalcord Logo", "inLanguage":"en-US", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "width":327,"height":300, "caption":"spinal contusion"}, { "@type":"WebPage","@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#webpage", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion", "name":"Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion", "isPartOf":{"@id":"https://spinalcord.com/#website"}, "primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#primaryimage"}, "datePublished":"2020-12-03T18:30:35+00:00","dateModified":"2020-12-03T18:30:35+00:00", "author":{"@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors"}, "description":"The spinal cord is a vital part of the human body. As the vehicle responsible for carrying messages from the brain to the rest of the body and back again, even the smallest interference can be detrimental. Following a traumatic spinal cord injury, this bundle of nerves can become bruised, also known as a contusion. Because of the nature of the nervous system, any interference can constitute a serious spinal contusion, but these facts will help you dissect all of the information from the medical professionals. What Is a Spinal Contusion? Signs-of-a-spinal-contusion-title-image Much like any other bruise, a contusion can cause bleeding from local blood vessels and inflammation which, rather unlike bruises on other parts of the body, can have serious negative impacts on the spinal cord itself. Because the “blood must clot to stop the bleeding”a bruise results from contusions also increase cardiovascular risks. For example, the swelling a contusion can cause will often disrupt nerve impulses that travel from the brain to the body through the spinal cord, and the severity of this will depend upon the level of injury. Unlike a concussion, a contusion would not cause unconsciousness or a ‘blackout’, but instead cause the patient to feel a numbness or tingling in the extremities. A contusion can cause spinal compression, which happens when there is pressure on the spinal cord. This can go on to cause an array of physical symptoms such as loss of sensation in the feet, inability to use the hands and loss of sexual ability. It must be noted that not all contusions cause spinal compression, and not all spinal compression is caused by a contusion, although they do often connect this way. Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion to Watch For Firstly, doctors will try and establish what area or limb the injury has affected. Spinal contusions most often “affect the upper extremities bilaterally and also sometimes involve the lower extremities,” according to Dr. Wong, an orthopedic physician. Symptoms include “numbness, tingling, [or] electric shock-like sensations and burning in the extremities,” (American Association of Neurological Surgeons, 2016). Generally falling into the category of “spinal trauma” there are many symptoms which are similar to other forms of spinal trauma and spinal cord injury. Below are some symptoms of spinal trauma: Spinal shock — or the loss of feeling or movement below site of injury (Columbia University Medical Centre, 2016) that can last between hours and weeks Loss of bladder or bowel function Difficulty breathing Muscle spasticity Difficulty understanding speech Problems with attention Memory challenges Heart rate and blood pressure problems Unfortunately, it is sometimes challenging to identify which symptoms are due to a spinal contusion, and which ones are the result of a spinal cord injury directly. It can sometimes require a few days or weeks for the body to recover from spinal trauma and reveal if any permanent damage is left from the accident that caused the SCI. Understanding what a contusion is, and how it can come into play following a spinal cord injury is important in order to clearly appreciate your injury, understand your diagnoses, and work toward treatment and a prognosis. Doctors can sometimes use jargon that’s difficult to understand, so the more you can educate yourself about your condition, the more control you can have in your recovery and treatment. If you still have questions about the details of the spinal cord and how it may be affected from your injury, please contact us or download our guide to understanding a spinal cord injury.", "breadcrumb":{"@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#breadcrumb"}, "inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion"]}]}, { "@type":"BreadcrumbList", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/#breadcrumb", "itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem", "position":1, "item": { "@type":"WebPage", "@id":"https://spinalcord.com/", "url":"https://spinalcord.com/", "name":"Home"}}, {"@type":"ListItem", "position":2, "item":{"@type":"WebPage", "@id":"https://spinalcord.com/blog/", "url":"https://spinalcord.com/blog/", "name":"Articles"}}, {"@type":"ListItem", "position":3, "item":{"@type":"WebPage", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/blog/signs-of-a-serious-spinal-contusion/", "name":"Warning Signs of a Serious Spinal Contusion"}}]}, {"@type":"Person", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/meet-our-authors", "name":"Spinalcord Team", "image":{"@type":"ImageObject", "@id":"https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "inLanguage":"en-US", "url":"https://www.spinalcord.com/hubfs/Logos/spinal-cord_png.png", "caption":"Spinalcord Team"}, "description":"The authors at SpinalCord.com come from diverse backgrounds including doctors, attorneys, medical journalist, and survivors of spinal cord injuries or traumatic brain injuries. Each author brings with them different experiences and expertise which when combined provide clinically accurate information which is useful to all individuals in the spinal cord and traumatic brain injury communities. Within the content you will find citations to medical journals, scientific research, as well as national and local resources to provide immediate support to families in need of assistance. Content is reviewed and updated regularly with changes in the clinical guidelines, new resources, and fresh ways to understand the content such as videos and infographics. ." } ]} ```